Hardwood Floor (dancing with single ladies)

As I have gotten older and started assessing where I was going with my life, my former vices that I have enjoyed so much have fallen by the wayside. I don't drink anything with alcohol or caffeine in it,cut down on the sugar, even to the point of giving up my oatmeal cookies at the bookstore I always visit. This might sound like an awful boring life, and maybe it would be, if it werent for the one habit I refuse to give up, which is dancing with single ladies.

My exwife taught me country-western dancing, or more accurately, we learned it together over many years of Saturday nights at the local dance hall. The good thing is I didn't start dancing with single ladies until she divorced me. (except for once, when I asked her permission. That didn't go over too well and I never did it again).

It was a new experience to dance with other partners than my wife. I mean we had two-stepped together to fast songs so long that we hardly thought about it. It was like walking for us, except to the excitement and rhythm of a country song. During the fastest songs I would lead her into a spin you had to see to believe. While she was spinning I would look for her to slow enough that I could reach in and touch her back, as a signal the next time around she would come out of it into my arms. People sometimes asked how she did it and if she was trained in iceskating. She spinned on her heels instead of her toes, which gave her a good pivot point and more control. It was really something to see, and raised the energy level in those Saturday Night honky tonks a notch or two.

But like women sometimes do, she 'moved on'. (after 26 years of marriage). A year or so later I started going out again. I would dance with one lady and go home, figuring that was a successful evening. Over time I got more used to it, and started learning to give very clear leads and be patient with ladies not confident about dancing.

Now I am not at all shy about asking strangers to dance, even if they say 'I don't know how', or 'I havent done it in a long time,' or 'ok, but can you teach me?'. Part of the invitation is my words - the other is the song the band is just starting up. I tell them 'we'll do the triple step - just rock to the left, rock to the right, and take big steps.' 'You make it sound so easy' is what I have heard them say. And it actually is - they just need to keep the beat, relax, and respond to my leads.

I start them out by my side, in open dance position, where they can watch my feet and try to stay in step together. Turns are easy, if they just loosen up and let me ease them through it. If they are too nervous, as evidenced by holding my hands in a death grip, I spin them once or twice which tends to calm them.

Ninety percent of the time my partners pick it right up and do great, and tell me afterwards how much fun that was. In my view the best dancers are not the most skilled ones - they are the ones that enjoy it the most, as evidenced by the smile in their eyes, the celebration and happiness in their style. There is such a pleasurable interaction in dancing - between you and your partner and the music, and often the musicians playing. It's all about having fun and enjoying the moment.

I love late Saturday Nights, sliding over the hardwood to a fast country song with a spirited and beautiful partner in my arms. I pull her close and put my hand on her lower back as we spin together, once, twice. I then hold up and lift my arm and let her twirl on without me, then step in beside her on the same beat.

The ladies have to trust me that I will keep them under control during those fast songs, especially while they are spinning. I look ahead for problems on the floor, like a clumsy drunk, or getting too close to the rail. If I see something bad about to happen I grab my partner and hold them, for their protection, although that rarely occurs. Some ladies scream or laugh as they turn fast - they have no idea how this is going to turn out. I pull them out of the spin and we continue on, having more fun than should be allowed.

It all makes your heart beat fast, and reveals the passion and joy inside you. "Doesnt that make you feel alive?', I have asked my partners once or twice as the song fades away "Yesss it does,' they reply. Last Saturday one said something similar to me as we left the dance floor: "That makes you know you are alive.'

The thing about dancing is once you learn how to do one kind of dance, you are more willing to try others. I started going to a swing dance place on the edge of downtown last Spring. The view out the front door is tall skyscrapers to the south, and the light rail goes by the next block over. The city is mostly emptied on Sunday, when the dances are held. I like to come early and walk in to downtown for something to eat, then ride the six blocks back on the light rail.

I struggled with swing dancing the first few times, because it is done in one spot, which was sort of strange to me. My experience the last 15 years had been mostly with the two step and triple step - partner dances that move counter clockwise around the floor. I stayed with it though, and now six months later am starting to feel ok at it. I am always adding new turns to my swing knowledge to make the dance more interesting for myself and my partner. I tend to do better with the bands that play more rock and roll songs (johnny be good, route 66), rather that jazz swing songs. The rock music catches me, and I feel the beat easier.

What I have learned though is to make darn sure you have the beat down for the song playing, before you ask someone to dance. A three minute dance can seem awful long when ou are not confident you are moving your feet at the right time.

One of the very good things about swing dancing is that by staying in one spot, you can hold your partner close and just rock to the beat while you carry on a conversation, and I have met some interesting ladies that way.

Swing dancing is very popular with young people in my city. The Sunday night of labor day weekend was so crowded it was hard to find 3 feet square on the dance floor. Between dances I went to the window to get some air, which is one story over the street. The windows are propped open, and ceiling fans circulate the air. Music from the band drifted down into the street. When I looked out I saw two young couples taking advantage of the uncrowded sidewalk, and were swing dancing down near the street, which I thought was pretty cool.

Last Friday I went to a another kind of dance - a fall ceili dance, outside under a tent, next to a river with tall cottonwoods along its side. Ceili is a folk dance, with fast rocking steps in response to the direction of a caller.

During the dance one of my partners pulled me out of the tent to show me the full moon that was just rising over the trees. I stayed there a while, then came back in for the next dance. It is tradition to change partners each time during these dances, and I told her she should look for me and I will look for her next time the band plays a waltz.

I didn't see her again, and the mystery of lost opportunities was on my mind as I drove home, wondering why I didn't linger with her longer under the moonlight.

Sometimes the band plays a waltz or two to break up the night of ceili dances. During the first waltz, about midway through the evening, I asked a grey haired lady to dance who was slim and athletic, and who responded gracefully to my leads. That dance was pleasurable and memorable, and clearly warmed both our hearts. There is nothing I know that is more romantic than dancing with a skilled partner to a beautiful violin waltz.

The band played another waltz to close out the evening, when the full moon had risen high in the sky. I asked a young lady to dance who had been my partner for a lively ceili dance. She wore a dark skirt, and her long black hair fell over a white blouse.

She told me she had never waltzed before. I said it is just left one two three, right one two three, and pulled her to my side to follow my steps. Twenty seconds into the dance she was doing a beautiful waltz. Her love for the music and athletiscm made her a natural dancer.

I spinned her slow, and she would come out just right, stepping back as I stepped forward. As she twirled her long black hair would brush against my face. Once again it was incredibly romantic. I told her how great she did, and how much fun that was.

My bet is she will remember her first waltz, as I will.

I see dancing as a kind of a spiritual thing, as in the best prayer being a life well lived, in joy and laughter, in reverence and gratitude, in music and dance.

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To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. - hopi saying

To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love. - jane austin