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In Mountain and Meadow - Life Fathers Day ~ June 20, 2004 |
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I wrote the following on April 6, 2004, a week after my Dad passed away: --------------------------------------------------------- Last week my daughters sat next to me in a church, in the front row. I got up and managed to get through saying a eulogy for my Dad, barely. I stepped back down to return to the pew beside my daughters and thought about my Dad, and thought about loss. In the eulogy I stated that my Dad was a man of character, a humble man, a man proud that he served his country, and most of all, a kind man. I felt good for getting that out, getting it said. I was so grateful that my daughters were there. Since then I have been wondering what memories my daughters will have someday of me and their growing up years. Perhaps our cross country trips will stand out, with tents packed in the massive trunk of my old Chrysler, of camping within site of Half Dome at Yosemite, of picking up the smell of ocean as we drove in to Monterey, of the morning that sand dollars covered the shore at Sunset beach. I hope they will think of my attempt to reveal art and music to them, of the times they would wear dresses at Christmas and we would go see the Nutcracker, of the downtown symphonies and plays we went to: Phantom, Buddy Holly, the Sound of Music, Annie Get Your Gun, Lion King. I know they will have mixed feelings recalling my habit of playing rock and roll oldies in the basement, GTO, Downtown, Spanky and Our Gang (the classic 'Sunday Morning'). I am sure they will not forget our visit to Washington DC, the only time me and Amy were there, running up the steps of Lincoln's monument to escape a rainstorm, the profound impact of the Viet Nam memorial and walking through Arlington, on a sunny afternoon. We saw a special exhibit of 70 Norman Rockwell paints during our visit. On the fouth of July, 2000, we watched 45 minutes of fireworks over the Washington Monument. The world and our family seemed to be a much simpler place then. I hope they will remember our many trips to Yellowstone and the Tetons, seeing bison, elk, bear, hiking to Osprey falls, geyers, fumaroles and mudpots. I am sure they will always recall the love of animals that we shared, walking Bud and Chelsey and Cody and Boogie along the river and under the greenbelt trees, which I hope stays with them for a lifetime. We had our store of troubles, but we stayed together as a family for so long. The thing I pray for the most though, is that my girls understand like I did, the love a Dad can have for his children. A week ago Sunday I was sitting in the hospital by Dad's bed, who had been unconscious since the night before after suffering a heart attack. I looked up and Dad awoke and and opened his eyes. He squeezed my hand hard as I told him how sorry I was to see him like that and that I loved him. He tried to speak. I leaned to hear, but there was no sound. Dad looked into my eyes and pointed to himself, then pointed to me. What I knew before, but have realized more intensely from my Dad's example, and his passing, is how important love and kindness are, and that those are really the only things we leave behind. |
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