At this point it looks like my kids are turning out ok. The verdict may still be out though.

I am sure I have influenced my kids, but not the way I expected.

It is hard to give them a direct order and get them to immediately mind. (like, 'go to bed, now', or 'don't pick on your sister', or 'do the dishes.')

I think the more lasting influence has been from setting high expectations for them - homework comes first, education is extremely important (how cool will those other kids be when they are 28 and still working at McDonald's because they didn't get enough education), reading is important, too much TV is bad, walking outside is good.

Occasionally I have to pull rank as !!!DAD!!! to get them to mind. Winning does not involve arguing though, it is action - the TV is set off electronically until 5:30 pm, hiding the coil cable from their car.

I also feel that setting an example has affected my kids - I tell them I love the simple life, and nature, and walking, and that money cannot make you happy. They don't listen, but see that I am satisfied driving old cars (I'm not ashamed of the car I drive; just am happy to be here, happy to be alive) and they see me heading out for a long walk at dawn every day, under the cottonwoods and along our river, with my dogs. They see me spending much of my free time doing volunteer naturalist work, or gardening.

I have great respect for my own Dad. I am sure that some of my parenting skills come from him. What I appreciate about him most was not so much what he bought me, but that he was always there while I was growing up. My best memories are of him and I playing sports together, of the times he would accompany me on hikes, of riding double on our motorcycle in the mountains. His life has not been spectacular, but normal. He is one of those people you never hear about, but is a hero.

He flew in B17's in World War II. He has stories of bombing over Germany and France, with the flak so thick that he says it looked like you could get out and walk across it. He manned the glass covered turrets on B17's, and shot at German fighter's. His 20 missions were at the end of the war. After VE day he dropped food to starving people in occupied territories. He tells how when one time the parachute got stuck in the bombbays, he climbed out over the open bomb flaps to kick the parachute and food free.

I know there were times I disappointed my Dad while growing up, as many teenagers do. He was rock solid though, and always made me feel like it was ok, that he would be there for me.

One of the images I have of my Father being there was his nightly habit of playing his electric organ, one of the few things he ever bought for himself, that I can remember. It was comforting seeing him sitting there doing something that he loved. I was impressed to see him progress from a beginner to a good musician on the organ. I always felt it was terribly wrong that he sometimes was ridiculed and criticized for it.

If I were to point out the one thing that is most rewarding about having kids, it is my ability to have fun with them.

Sure I am their Dad, but I am also somebody they can pal around with - chase around the kitchen playing tag, have extended supersoaker battles with, throw the football in the front with, wad up wet paper towels and toss them at each other. Mom hides out in the computer room when this is happening, and makes us stop when the kids get too wild.

My children and I share a love and kinship with our many pets in our household. One of our games is for me to hide in the opposite side of the house while the kids hold the dogs. The dogs then try to find me - they enjoy it as much as the kids do. When my older daughter finds me first, she always has to give me away to the dogs, to my dissatisfaction. (I guess she is the winner then, since she found me first).

As my kids age, I also know that being a good parent involves giving them some independence, some freedom to be responsible for themselves, and some room to make their own mistakes.

I have heard it said that the most important legacy a person leaves the earth is his children. In that there is a lot to be proud of in my family.