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14 August ~ 2007

I called my daughters a few times from Montana and Northern Wyoming, to let them know I was safe, and to tell them some of what my trips were like. I told them how I went into the deep part of the stream to play a large trout I hooked into, and how heavy it felt, and how I was sure it would break off my line. I said I was darn near in shock when I worked it close enough to scoop my net under it.

I didn't tell them about the bear tree I found up there, with claw marks seven feet up, and little ones three feet high. I envisonioned a cub working away at the tree, just like Mom does.

I skipped over that the logjam I had to cross was three times as long as I remembered. The most dangerous part was the last 20 feet, where the river goes under the logs, and you have to keep perfect balance, with a 50 pound pack on.

I didn't mention how exhausted and empty you get in the evenings, and how you have to fight the worry of what might come wandering by this night.

I didn't say how spiritual these mountains are, - the quiet, the light rainful begining, the lightning flash and the thunder rumbling again and again as it proceeds up valley; that it is like church up there, but better. Instead of listening to some preacher give his view of God, you learn by being aware of the Lord's hand in the forests, the sky, the lake edge water lapping with the wind, the birdsong, the silence.

I didn't describe how you review your life in a wilderness, not just in the daytime, but in dreams. I know that I have taken a straight path, teaching children about nature, telling stories of wilderness and adventure in elementary schools, helping out at horse rescue, being a lover of mountains and dogs. I know I still miss their mother.

And I didn't tell them how I became aware of how much love there is in my life, for each of them, for my border collies, for the clear air and heights of timberline, for the dance and touch of a sweet woman on Saturday night, for the gift of this life I have been given. My prayer of gratitude is paying attention, and living in a way that is right for me, with beauty and spirituality and simplicity ahead of all else.

(to see a 700 pixel wide image of the above collage, click here; to see a 1400 wide pixel image of the above picture, click here.)